


Running to It

by K_iddo



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Confessions, Fix-It, Fluff, Love, M/M, Romance, just saying it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 00:03:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18062750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_iddo/pseuds/K_iddo
Summary: Fix-it for 3x06, where Oswald almost tells Ed he loves him in the office but backs out - what if he didn't?





	Running to It

**Author's Note:**

> Me? Writing something lower than an E rating? Who is she?
> 
> Also, this is just very sweet and short and I apologise to people who follow me that have had to read three iterations of their first confessions/kisses, I am aware of how extra I am.

Oswald almost tells Ed he loves him several times after he first realises that he does. 

He almost tells him in that moment, just after Ed swears he will do anything for him, that he can always count on him, and Oswald holds onto him like he hasn’t ever held onto anyone before. Like no one else would have never accepted from him before. 

He almost tells him the morning after, when they eat breakfast together, and Ed laughs at his own joke in such a way that lights his entire face up and Oswald fully notices how incredibly handsome he is. 

He comes closest the day after that, because he has had a couple of glasses of wine and Ed is standing too close behind him while he gestures where to sign on various sheets of ink-covered paper. He smells good, so good, and he looks particularly beautiful in the low light of his desk lamp.

But every time, his mouth just won’t _say_ it; he stammers, his teeth clamp together, he talks about something else, something much less important than how incredibly in love with Ed he is. And he knows it is fast, and soon, and probably too much, but Oswald cannot bring himself to feel badly about it. Because he knows himself, he knows how crushes feel, how desire for friendship feels, how familial love feels, and this is not that.

This is urgent, and all encompassing, and it makes him feel as happy as it does scared. 

Ed had held him in return, that night on the couch in front of the fire, his hand had gone from tapping his back to cupping the bottom of his neck, and they stayed like that for a few moments longer than he knew was appropriate. He knew he had been blushing when he pulled away, and he could _swear_ that Ed had been blushing a little too, clearing his throat and returning to his tea. 

So he finds himself nervous when he approaches Ed in the office he has made for himself in the mansion; he checks himself as he passes a picture frame, he has tried to look nice today, as nice as he possibly can, and he’s at least glad he got his teeth fixed a while ago. Ed’s are irritatingly perfect. 

“Good morning Mayor Cobblepot.” He greets him too formally, but his smile is perfectly relaxed as he stands, handfuls of stamped paper as usual. 

“Good morning to you, my chief of staff.” He responds, and god, he’s out of breath, his voice comes out shaky and he hopes Ed can’t tell. Ed is speaking, handing him two stacks of schedules, and Oswald looks at them closely but doesn’t read them, he can’t focus. He’s going to say it. He’s actually going to say it this time. 

“You really are settling into your role here, aren’t you Ed?” He can feel his palm sweating where he holds his cane. 

“And yet I still have so much to learn from you.” Ed says, and looks at him so sweetly and earnestly that Oswald swears he can hear his own heart hammering. 

So he doesn’t respond verbally, apparently that sense has left him. “Oh.” Is all he can say, smiling shyly and shaking his head, his ears feel hot. 

And it surprises him that Ed reacts much the same way, clearing his throat, like he’s said too much, and glancing at the ground. 

“I came up empty tracking down Butch, somehow that one-handed ape managed to disappear. I suspect he’s hiding with his old crew.”He says, back to business, and Oswald is relieved that he’s actually talking about something he can respond to rather than stuttering nervously, and disappointed as well, because getting complimented by Ed is a special kind of tonic. “I’m sorry I let you down.”

At that, Oswald cannot respond quickly enough, his heart clenching at the way Ed chews the inside of his mouth and looks away like he feels genuinely disappointed in himself.

“You have done nothing of the sort.” He tells him. “I would be lost without you.” And that seems to make Ed feel better, he smiles, and lets a relieved breath out of his nose. “In fact, um,” Oswald takes a couple of steps forward, “there is something that I need to tell you.” 

Ed turns to look down at him, and they’re only a couple of feet apart, and it makes it much harder now he’s looking him in the eye. “Something very important.” He’s dragging it out too much, he’s making it harder for himself, he knows.

But Ed looks at him straight faced, brows raised, patiently waiting for what Oswald needs to tell him. Why the hell had Oswald not noticed how beautiful he is before? Why is it so hard to talk to him when he’s being pinned by those deep brown eyes and distracted by his perfect cheekbones and pink lips?

And he’s been waiting too long to build up the courage, so Ed prompts him:

“What is it, Oswald?” He looks concerned, and Oswald’s mouth just opens and closes like a fish as he scrambles for the words. 

So he chooses to go out like a coward: “You know what? I forget.” He laughs, holding up his hands. “Don’t you hate when that happens?”

Okay, he’s laughing too much now, he must look insane. 

“So, where are we off to first?” He looks down at the schedule, written in Ed’s perfect handwriting, because it’s easier than looking at his perfect face.

“PS-134. You’re touring a school.” Oh, exactly what he needs, _children_. “Press will be there, so we should get a move on.” 

And then Ed breezes by him, ever ready to get on with work, completely unaware of the reason for Oswald’s floundering. 

Another opportunity that slips through his fingers, wasting Ed’s willingness to hear anything he has time to say on stuttering and deciding against it. 

And it builds up again, that swell of emotion, that need for Ed to know exactly how he feels, because he feels _so much._ And maybe it’s because Ed’s back is to him, so he doesn’t have to look him dead in the eye, but he finds himself unable to keep his mouth shut for a second longer. 

“I’m in love with you.” 

His stomach floods with nerves the minute it comes out of his mouth, and he wants to snatch the words back as soon as he’s said them. But Ed stops in his tracks and goes very still, and he knows he’s heard him. He doesn’t respond for a moment, the tick of the grandfather clock is suddenly defending - audibly counting the seconds since Oswald has made a fool of himself.

So he feels he needs to fill the quiet.

“I mean, I think I am, I’m _quite sure_ I am and I am sorry if that’s - I know it’s very quick and perhaps you don’t… but I _must_ be honest with you, Ed, because you’ve been so good to me and I can’t look at you every day and not have you know.”

Oswald swallows to wet his very dry throat, and wishes he wasn’t stammering so much. 

“You… How long have you thought this?” Ed’s tone is imperceptible as he turns to face him, and his expression is unreadable too. He doesn’t wear his emotions all over his face quite the way Oswald does. 

“Just a couple of days.” Oswald smiles nervously, and he still sounds breathless. “Nobody has ever been as loyal to me as you or kind or… Looked at me, the way you do.” 

At that Ed seems to nervously glance away again, and Oswald wishes there weren’t so much space between them now. He steels himself, ready for rejection.

“I apologise if I misread things or if I’m ruining a good friendship here.” Oswald says, because while he is holding out his heart he may as well be brave. “But I have never felt this way about anyone, and happiness is so hard to find for me.” 

Ed is still silent; he’s listening, Oswald can tell from the way he is looking at him, but he wishes his mouth weren’t set in that closed line still. Eloquent, intelligent Ed chooses _now_ to stay quiet. Frustrated, and leg starting to ache, Oswald lets out a sigh and leans more on his cane.

“Ed, if you’re disinterested please just tell me, I would rather know.”

“No one has ever said that to me before.” Ed says, quickly and unexpectedly. “That they’re in love with me, I mean.” 

“Oh.” Is all Oswald can say, finding that quite shocking really, he knows Ed has been with women before. Or at least one woman. How could someone be with him and not be in love?

“Miss Kringle she… liked me, somewhat _,_ _eventually_. But this.” He adjusts his glasses on his nose and lets out a breath. “I was not expecting this.”

“Me neither, honestly.” Oswald shrugs a little, but says nothing more, he wants Ed to speak.

Ed takes a few steps forward until they are a few feet apart again, and Oswald can see more the emotion on his face. 

“When we first met I was so fascinated by you.” He admits, and Oswald’s heart races. “But you seemed as irritated by me as anyone else so I didn’t push.” 

At that, Oswald feels guilt settle in his stomach and wants to explain that it is important to him to keep his cold facade up, especially at the GCPD, but Ed keeps talking.

“And then when I found you in the woods and I brought you to my apartment, I thought that you and I really… Had something, I suppose. Those days we spent alone together they were really…”  


“Sweet.” Oswald’s responds.  
  
“Yes.” Ed agrees with a small smile. “But when you were patched up you just left.”

“I…” Oswald feels the need to protest, Ed looks quite hurt at that. “I had no idea you - Did you want me to stay?”

Ed just nods, looking away again embarrassedly, but Oswald doesn’t want him to be embarrassed, he takes his hands in his own, and strokes his thumbs over Ed’s knuckles, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach.

“Having you there, knowing you would be there when I came home from work at my kitchen table… Or in my bed.” Again, Oswald flushes from head to toe. “It felt very good and right.” 

“I rather enjoyed it too, in spite of the reasons I was there.” Ed is squeezing Oswald’s hands a little, and it’s grounding, it makes him feel like he isn’t about to be pushed away at any moment. “Do you remember what you said, then, about love making us weaker?”

Ed sighs. “I do.”

“I don’t feel weaker.”

“Neither do I.” And Ed leans forward and kisses him so softly, softer than anyone has kissed him before, when it was a means of getting to the climax and moving on. He kisses him like they have all the time in the world, like it’s the first of many; perhaps Oswald is getting carried away, but he has always had a good sense for _feeling_ , and he can feel all the promises in the gentle way he takes Oswald’s lower lip between his own.

When he pulls back, he keeps their foreheads together, and Oswald’s breath quivers as he drops his cane and finds purchase on Ed’s elbows instead. 

“I’m in love with you too.” He says, and Oswald actually feels a lump form in his throat, his eyes sting. He feels that too, the truth on what Ed says, a genuine affection that he has not felt since his mother that is at once familiar and decidedly different. 

“I… I can’t handle it if you’re joking for some reason.” He says, putting voice to his insecurities. His pointy nose is pressing against Ed’s cheek, but he doesn’t seem to mind. 

“I’m not.” Ed laughs a little, pulling back just enough so they can talk. “I just… it’s not the first time I’ve fallen very hard and very fast for someone, and it wasn’t even as hard and fast as _this,_ and I did not handle it well,” he swallows, “I didn’t handle _any_ of that relationship well.” 

“Do you feel the same way about me?” Oswald asks, unsure what he wants the answer to be. 

“No, I feel…” His hand cups Oswald’s jaw again. “This is worse, or better, or-“

They both chuckle breathlessly, because Oswald understands that this is at once delightful and horribly nerve-racking.

“It’s crazy.” Ed says, but his hand lifts to cup Oswald’s jaw, and he feels a thrill. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” He says weakly.  
  
“Don’t be. I feel that in our line of work we’re allowed to be a little unconventional.” He smiles slyly. “We _have_ both been to the madhouse.”  
  
Oswald chuckles too, and leans back into Ed’s body heat. 

“Kiss me again.” He says, well past being embarrassed. Ed does, and if Oswald could actually tether a thought to the ground long enough to get a good look at it, he would marvel at how well this has gone, he would wonder if he was dreaming and he would burst into tears about how wonderfully nice it is to have his feelings reciprocated. To have someone hold him like they want him.

Ed pulls him closer with a hand on his lower back, and Oswald wants to just climb into that suit with him, push against his skin. 

When Ed pulls away, Oswald hears himself make a little sound of disappointment. Ed lifts his arm to look at his watch over Oswald’s shoulder. 

“We are going to be late for your appointment at the school.” He says, his tone of voice entirely back to work even as his lips are flushed red and his hand stays firmly on Oswald’s lower back. 

It sounds so unimportant now, after this.

“Can I not just quit being mayor and keep doing this?” Oswald’s hands run over Ed’s lapels, absolutely intoxicated by the ability to touch him. Ed just laughs and shakes his hand, stopping Oswald’s hands but holding them there.

“If you like, but that would also be putting _me_ out of a job.” 

Oswald nods and takes a steadying breath. 

“You’re right, we should go.” Oswald tears himself away from the warmth of Ed, straightening out his suit and wondering when his heart is actually going to stop racing. 

“Don’t worry, it’s cold outside, so your blush has time to go away.” Ed touches the back of his hand to Oswald cheek, looking amused, which of course just makes Oswald turn pinker. 

“Do I have much more of this teasing to look forward to?” He asks, and he hopes he does. 

“Oh, yes, absolutely. Not while we’re on the job though of course, Mayor Cobblepot.” Ed picks up his cane for him and Oswald takes it. They make their way out of the office side by side as they leave. 

“Over dinner then… Tonight?” Oswald offers, still ready, even after that, to be knocked back. 

“Of course.” Ed responds. “We should go out somewhere rather than eating at the mansion, I feel rather invigorated.” He takes his phone from his inner jacket pocket and flips it open. “I’ll have Bamonte’s chill a bottle for us.” 

They step out into the cold, but Oswald doesn’t really feel the chill, because he has a date tonight with the man he is in love with, something actually went right for once. As they walk down the steps and to the drive where his car waits, Ed’s hand reaches out and his pinky gently strokes Oswald’s, just for a moment, and Oswald fights to keep the ridiculous smile off his face. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated (aka they are my lifeblood I cherish them like children).


End file.
